Letting Go of People You Can’t Fix: Trusting God With the Ones You Love
A child who’s drifting.
A loved one caught in addiction.
A spouse who’s emotionally withdrawn.
A friend walking away from faith.
A parent stuck in bitterness.
We ache for them. We plead with God. We try everything. And when nothing changes, we silently wonder:
“What am I doing wrong?”
We carry their pain as if it’s ours to solve. And deep inside, a quiet voice whispers:
“If I just love them enough… if I say the right thing… maybe they’ll turn around.”
But the truth is this--You are not their Savior. You’re their sibling. Their friend. Their spouse. Their parent. And that is holy enough.
The Savior Complex Is Exhausting
There’s a difference between a burden God gives and a burden we’ve taken upon ourselves.
God invites us to love, speak truth, walk with others, and intercede. But when we begin to believe that their change depends entirely on us, we are quietly placing ourselves in God’s seat.
Even Jesus didn’t force transformation. He didn’t chase the rich young ruler when he walked away (Mark 10:21–22). He didn’t beg Judas to change his mind. He let people choose—and loved them anyway.
Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop controlling.
Faith Is Letting Go of Outcomes
When we hold tight to people we can’t fix, we live in constant tension:
“What if I’m not doing enough?”
“What if I say the wrong thing?”
“What if I’m enabling them by staying silent?”
“What if I’m pushing them away by speaking up?”
But letting go doesn’t mean abandoning them. It means entrusting them to the One who loves them even more than you do.
It means praying: “Lord, I surrender this person to You. I will love them, speak truth when led, and keep praying, but I release the outcome to You.”
This is the kind of faith that takes deep humility.
Boundaries Are a Form of Trust
Sometimes, letting go involves stepping back not out of punishment, but out of wisdom.
You can still love someone and have boundaries. You can still care without rescuing. You can walk beside them without losing yourself.
God doesn’t ask us to carry people.
He asks us to walk with Him—and trust that He can reach hearts in ways we never can.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
That includes anxiety about people we love.
What Letting Go Might Sound Like
“I love you, but I can’t keep carrying your choices.”
“I’ll always be here, but I can’t save you. Only God can.”
“I’m trusting God to do what I cannot.”
This isn’t easy. It may feel like failure. But it’s actually faith. It’s saying:
“God, You’re better at being God than I am.”
A Benediction for the Heavyhearted
We release the people we cannot fix.
We surrender the hearts we cannot reach.
We trust the One who knows them fully,loves them perfectly, and holds them completely.
We say no to striving, and yes to surrender.
We lay down the weight we were never meant to carry.
And we walk lighter, freer—still loving, still praying, but no longer trying to save what only God can redeem.
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